Erin Jean (kalijean) wrote,
Erin Jean

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Fic: Never Where (Due South, G)

Title: Never Where
Fandom: Due South; Arch to the Sky
Characters: Vecchio, Mort, and ?
Rating: G
Words: 402
Timeline: After the Shades arc.
Summary: In which we learn four things Mort should know and one place he never was.
Notes: Yep, we really are COTW-compliant. :D

For each time he passed, Ray Vecchio remained leaned nonchalantly against a drawer in Mort's morgue, taking small bites of a sandwich that was not rapidly disappearing.

Each time Mort passed, he chose not to bother the man. Who was he to critique a man's choice of lunchtime locale? Not Mort. He often ate there. The morgue was quiet and comfortable. It was somewhat unusual for another person to share his opinion of that, but he wasn't a man to judge.

Curiosity grew, but it wasn't until he heard a distinct thunk from behind the man that Mort stopped, backtracking to look at him.


Ray saluted with his sandwich. "Mort."

Mort glanced in idle interest at the sandwich and back to Ray. A slow grin appeared on Ray's face as he chewed.

"Always a pleasure to see you, of course."

"Likewise." Another small bite, slowly chewed. Another rhythmic thunk sounded from the drawer behind him.

Mort removed his glasses, draping them around his neck. "Can I help you, Detective?"

"Nope. I'm good."

Looking to the closed drawer from which the sound came, Mort put up an eyebrow.

Ray's smile grew wider.

Mort's other eyebrow joined the fray.

"What? You hungry?" Ray offered out his sandwich. "Want some?"

", Detective."

Ray shrugged and took another bite, chewing over slowly.

Three rapid whacks sounded behind the drawer door.

"Is there something I should know, Detective Vecchio?"

"Probably. Wouldn't know what, though. Never lick a frozen pole?"

Mort gave him a flat look.

"Never trick or treat at the old folks' home dressed as the grim reaper?"

He stared. Two more weak thuds sounded behind the Detective.

"Oh, I know! Never say the word 'Eskimo' in front of Benny unless you feel like having an encyclopedia forcibly shoved in your ear."


Ray dropped the faux-innocent expression, it seemed, in favor of leaning forward and pointing with his sandwich. "Never impregnate a man's sister if you can't run faster'n him."

Ah. Mort slowly replaced his glasses as he nodded, pointing. "You understand that I was never here, yes?"

Ray's was a shark of a smile, and Mort counted himself lucky in that moment that he was far too old to have felt interest in Francesca Vecchio. "Never where?"

"Have a pleasant lunch, Detective."

Mort was granted another sandwich salute, and he wandered off with a quiet chuckle to himself.
Tags: arch to the sky, due south, fic
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